Humility at Work (H)
A-Z Series at Psychology@Work
A down-to-earth person who acknowledges weaknesses, is open to learning, is modest and self-less - is how we describe humility!
When we see humility being expressed by a person, some admire and respect the person more. But, some may see humble behaviours as self-deprecating and thus a sign of low self-confidence and a leadership weakness. While some may see expressed humility as a façade and an instrumental way to create a positive expression of superiority. To understand humility and the pros and cons, it is crucial to detail what attributes make up our shared ideas of being humble. And, what behaviours do we pay attention to, when we make our judgments about humility.
What is Humility?
From my reading of the research done on humility, I have outlined the critical dimensions of humility and how they may manifest in a person.
A Humble Person has the following characteristics:
a) Gestalt View of Self: A humble person recognizes that their accomplishments have come to be due to many privileges, contingencies and interdependencies with others. Thus, they should be understood about the larger context. A humble person knows that they are not at the "centre" of the universe. This self-transcendence of accepting that there are bigger and greater things than oneself is key to humility. They do not fall for the meritocracy trap that perpetuates the notion that "I am where I am based on my own abilities and effort that has received the appropriate merit". In fact, they acknowledge that we are where we are and who we are due to our place in society and our connections and dependence on others.
b) Awareness of Intellectual Limitations: A humble person realizes that their beliefs are fallible and susceptible to biases like other humans. At any given point in time, they have an accurate and realistic self-assessment of strengths and weaknesses. But, more importantly, they remember the limitations of their own knowledge in making such assessments and thus question and reevaluate the evidentiary basis for such evaluations. They have what is called "epistemic curiosity", – which is the pursuit of truth by getting better at the process of acquiring knowledge and knowing. A humble person is open to revising their beliefs based on new information. They can tolerate the ambiguity of knowing that they may be wrong and not 100% certain. They do not consider their own opinions superior to others and more logically precise and thus recognize the value in different views.
c) Self-Security: A humble person is comfortable in their own skin and is reasonably sure of their own coherent system of beliefs based on their assessment. This does not mean they are dogmatic as they are certain at the moment with the scope of changing their beliefs with new information. They are not overly concerned about impression management based on others assessment of themselves and their expectations. There is a certain amount of self-security wherein an intellectually humble person is comfortable/confident about the balanced way they have come to form their view currently. At the same time, they know that beliefs and ideas may need revision when new information comes along.
To judge humility in others, we look for signals in their behaviours!
The above qualities could be ideas a person holds about themselves in their own minds. It is not always apparent to others whether a person has such views or not. In most relationships, we estimate a person's humility based on the actions and behaviours we observe. We look for ways in which they speak about themselves and others to ascertain whether they have a self-focus or a gestalt view of self. We look for interactions where it is obvious that success results from the combination of multiple factors and notice whether a person gives credit where it is due.
So let us look at the typical behaviours we expect from a person we believe has humility and how we come to judge genuine humility versus fake humility?
Behaviours that indicate GENUINE HUMILITY:
A) What shows that a leader has a Gestalt View of Self?
When leaders seek inputs from followers – asking for feedback on their actions
When leaders ask questions and show interest in the views, needs and perspectives of others
When they publicly appreciate the world view of others and seek help from others
When leaders acknowledge that their success and positive outcomes are not all their making but that others played a part in it
When leaders voice and are generous with their recognition and praise for others who were part of the building of success. When they are less vocal about their own outcomes and favour talking about the results for the overall system and others
B) What shows that a leader has an awareness of Intellectual Limitations?
When leaders publicly acknowledge through speech that they are fallible and susceptible to biases
When leaders seek contradictory evidence to their own beliefs to show they care to know alternative perspectives.
When leaders show vulnerability by acknowledging and taking responsibility when they are wrong or making a mistake. This shows their honesty to tell the truth and be genuine in their interactions.
When leaders invite and can listen to contradictory opinions and appreciate differences without showing anxiety or worry
When they are open to new ideas by not defending their own views in isolation and by creating space for criticism
C) What shows that a leader has Self-Security?
When a leader is not always denying praiseworthy achievements and ignoring compliments by self-deprecating. Instead, they are honest and accepting of their happiness in receiving recognition and value the other's inputs simultaneously.
When leaders show transparency in sharing how they have come to hold beliefs and adhere to values without always qualifying, they may be wrong and start conversations with self-abasement.
When leaders say that they are open to revising their views, they are confident at the current point in time about the logic and evidence they have used to form an idea. This shows confidence in one's own views but also transparency and openness to improve.
Why is humility in leaders good at work?
Overall, research shows that leaders who show humility at work are respected, liked and admired. Followers working with humble leaders feel more trusted, have more confidence in voicing their concerns, take up more opportunities to share leadership responsibilities (role reversals) and have higher-quality relationships with the leader. Overall, by being a humble leader, you can achieve great outcomes for your followers and your team.
The balance between leader competence/confidence and humility
As humans, we are all motivated to manage our impressions and have a need to be viewed positively by others. To manage our reputation, we present ourselves a certain way in our social interactions. Part of being a good leader is to build confidence in your followers such that they have trust in you and believe in your vision. This requires leaders to show a positive self that is worthy of being liked, admired and valued by followers.
Much before humility became a leadership buzzword, there was a lot of talk about the importance of charismatic leadership. Even now, in some spheres, showing humility is considered a flaw and a sure shot way to reduce your charisma in the followers' eyes. As early as 1922, the German sociologist Max Weber discussed the authority, power, and influence of a charismatic leader. In Weber's account, charisma exists when an individual is extraordinary/superhuman and surpasses the expectations of others. Charismatic individuals are those who can present themselves in a positive light and are thus influential, exemplary and inspirational. Charismatic individuals are liked. Their grace captivates others, and the attraction emerges from their effective communication. Charismatic leaders are confident in the moral righteousness of their beliefs and, through visioning, encourage others to follow and role model those values. Psychoanalytic research looking at charisma in society discusses how charismatic individuals have followers who idolize them and show a certain level of devotion and unquestioning allegiance towards the charismatic individual.
Inherent in all of these ideas of charisma is the image of a person who is highly confident, inspirational, accomplished, sophisticated, evolved, emotionally engaging and therefore superior enough to be a role model. But, when there is high charisma, there is a good likelihood that it could be perceived as low humility, high narcissism, inappropriate grandiosity, egocentrism and arrogance. For followers to form positive leadership perceptions about you, you need to engage in confident, positive impression management while also showing humility. This balance between creating a positive impression of your expertise and abilities while also showing your humility is a tough one.
To help you achieve this balance, remember humility is about having a gestalt view of yourself and having the intellectual modesty to accept limitations while having a sense of self-security. The sense of self-security should not be lost in self-deprecating and self-basement. In other words, you can be wrong, and you should be open to changing your views, but when you state your beliefs, show that you have done your best to come to a logical way of concluding what you think is right.
We are all acutely aware that shameless self praise- also called “bragging” is to be avoided as it perceived as being arrogant and narcissistic. In fact, in most conversations, we are aware of the norms. When we engage in self-enhancing talk about ourselves, we often follow it with caveats, disclaimers and qualifying conditions. We know that not doing that can lead to social disapproval and unfavourable perceptions of arrogance in the mind of others. Recently, work has been done on how self-praise accompanied by humility like behaviours can seem ingenuine and lead to followers labelling your behavior as false modesty.
So, avoid FAKE HUMILITY: What not to do!
When you are sharing your achievements - do not frame them like a complaint. For example, when describing your influencer status on social media, avoid saying things like, “Being an influencer with over 1 million followers is such a hassle”. The reason such comments are seen as insincere is that the information you are sharing is -a) you are an influencer (successful) and b) you have 1 million followers (an achievement) - but you are masking it in a “Complaint” indicating it is no big deal and in fact a problem for you. The complaining attitude and hassle of maintaining your influencer status are not what humility is about!
When you are sharing your achievements - ensure that you do exactly that without superlatives. Avoid putting it inside a complaint and avoid using superlatives. For example, it is better to say, “I am excited to share that I now have over 1 million followers on my social media account” rather than saying, “From all the people I know in Adelaide, I am best at social media and have the most influence on over 1 million followers”. The use of superlative words such as “best”, “most” - indicates not just your achievement but your diminished view of other’s achievements. That is what makes one expression more arrogant than the other.
Make your motive be known. When you anticipate that you will need to share some positive information about yourself, frame it such that the audience knows that it is coming. Provide a valid reason for why you are sharing what you are sharing, rather than merely slipping it into the conversation casually. Being explicit works because you are letting the listener know why you are sharing what you are sharing, thereby reducing the incorrect attribution they might make about your intentions for self-praise.
I hope this article on what it means to be humble and show humility in your interactions will help you develop stronger relationships at work. I loved writing about this topic.