A Well-Intentioned Control Freak

The Growth Chronicles: Confessions and Reflections (No. 1)

Ever found yourself giving unsolicited advice on how to properly load a dishwasher? Congratulations, you might be a “control freak” in disguise! But don't worry, you're not alone in this fast-paced, efficiency-obsessed world of ours.

Oops, I Micromanaged Again: A Modern Tragedy

This is my first blog as part of my “confession series”, and I am about to describe myself.

Imagine being me, for a second: You're juggling work, life, and the constant ping of notifications. You've got AI assistants, productivity apps, and more alarms than a doomsday prepper. In this chaos, you've become a lean, mean, efficiency machine. Yup - that sounds a lot like me this past year!

But at what cost?

As I recently discovered, my quest for efficiency and my well-intentioned desire to get things just right might actually be turning me into something I never wanted to be: a micromanager. Yikes!

I know, I know. It's a hard pill to swallow. But here's the thing: admitting we might have a problem is the first step towards positive change. So, if you're nodding along, thinking, "Oh no, this sounds like me," don't worry. You're not alone; more importantly, there's hope for us yet!

The Hidden Costs of "Helpful" Suggestions

We've all been there. I sure have! You see someone doing something and know there's a better way. So, being the kind soul you are, you share your wisdom. "Hey, if you just did it like this..." Sound familiar?

But here's the kicker: I have realized that what I may see as helpful suggestions can often come across as overbearing control. It's like I was offering someone a mint—sure, I meant well, but I am also unintentionally telling that person that their breath stinks.

Why We Micromanage (Even When We Don't Mean To)

1. The Efficiency Trap: In our rush to save time, we sometimes forget that letting others learn and grow takes time.

2. Perfectionism Gone Wild: Maybe our way might be the "right" way, but is it the only way?

3. Fear of Failure: Sometimes, controlling others is really about controlling our own fears.

The Dark Side of Micromanagement

Micromanagement isn't just annoying; it's downright harmful. It can:

• Crush creativity and imagination - faster than a toddler with a crayon

• Erode confidence of those around you - like acid on a cheap watch

• Damage relationships - more effectively than forgetting your anniversary

Micromanagement at Work

Micromanagement, is a term we often use in the context of manager/leader – subordinate/follower contexts. It denotes a situation where a leader controls too many aspects of their follower or team's work.

Why Leaders Can't Help but Hover

Ever wondered why some managers/leaders seem to have an irresistible urge to breathe down their employees' necks? Welcome to the wild world of micromanagement, where good intentions pave the road to employee burnout!

The Secret Life of Micromanagers: What Makes Them Tick?

1. The Control Freak's Dilemma: Picture a leader gripping the steering wheel of their team so tightly their knuckles turn white. Why? Because letting go might mean gasp unpredictability! Heaven forbid we let chaos reign by allowing employees to make their own decisions, right?

2. The "I'm Surrounded by Incompetence" Syndrome: Some leaders believe their team couldn't find water if they fell out of a boat. This leads to the classic "I'll just do it myself" mentality. Spoiler alert: This doesn't end well for anyone's work-life balance.

3. The Perfectionist's Paradox: These leaders have a vision so perfect it makes Michelangelo's David look like a kid's Play-Doh project. Unsurprisingly, reality often disappoints them, leading to an endless cycle of "tweaks" and "improvements."

4. The Imposter Syndrome Special: Insecure leaders fear that any team mistake will expose them as frauds. Their solution? Control everything! Because nothing says "I'm a great leader" like doing everyone else's job, right?

5. The "My Way or the Highway" Mentality: Some leaders struggle with different working styles like cats struggle with water. Instead of embracing diversity, they try to clone themselves. Spoiler: It doesn't work, and it's slightly creepy.

The Micromanagement Hangover: How Employees Suffer

While micromanagers might think they're saving the day, here's what's really happening to their team:

• Self-Esteem Erosion: Constant correction makes employees feel about as valued as a screen door on a submarine.

• Motivation Massacre: When employees have as much control over their work as a puppet, don't be surprised when they adopt a "why bother" attitude.

• Creativity Coma: In a micromanaged environment, innovative ideas are about as welcome as a porcupine in a balloon factory.

• Stress Explosion: The pressure to meet overly detailed expectations can lead to stress levels higher than a cat's back at a dog show.

• The Helpless Hamster: When leaders make every decision, employees become as independent as a baby koala, clinging to their manager for every little thing.

From Micromanager to Empowerer: A Recovery Program for Control Freaks

Now, I've put together a 5-step program that I'm using to become more empowering in all my interactions at work and outside of work. The tips below have been articulated to apply to leaders and managers at work, but when I was jotting them down, I was thinking of how I need to use these steps to be better at letting go of control in my non-work life domains.

As parents, we can use these steps to stop controlling every aspect of our kids' lives. (Maybe they'll learn to tie their shoelaces before college, after all!). As partners, we can ease up on the nagging and hovering over every decision our significant others make. (Who knew there was more than one "right" way to load a dishwasher?)

So, are you ready to join me on this adventure? It might be a bit bumpy, and we might slip up occasionally, but I promise it'll be worth it. Let's learn to let go and empower those around us – at work, at home, and everywhere in between.

The 5-Step Program to Cure Your Micromanagement Habit

1. Embrace Diversity & Good Enough

   • Action: Appreciate your team's unique skills and working styles. Be able to say that "Good enough" is well, good enough!

   • Pro Tip: Host "Strength Spotting" sessions. It's like bird watching, but for human talents! Remember, not every project needs to be the Mona Lisa. Sometimes, a halfway decent stick figure will do just fine.

2. Focus on Realistic Outcomes & Trust the Process

   • Action: Accept that perfection is as rare as a unicorn riding a rainbow. Progress often comes from messy, imperfect attempts. Who cares if they took the scenic route to success? As long as they reach the destination without setting anything on fire, count it as a win!

   • Pro Tip: Share your past facepalm moments. It's storytime, but with valuable life lessons! Give your team space to surprise you. They might come up with solutions that make you wonder, "Why didn't I think of that?" (Spoiler: You were too busy micromanaging.)

3. Foster Autonomy & Ask more Questions

   • Action: Provide goals, not step-by-step GPS instructions. Let your team be the captains of their own ships! Instead of dishing out advice like it's free candy, ask questions. It's like being a detective, but for fostering independent thinking.

   • Pro Tip: Implement a 48-hour rule: resist the urge to intervene for two days after sharing the goal unless absolutely necessary. Introduce rotating leadership in team meetings to encourage ownership and decision-making.

4. Focus on Development & Psychological Safety

   • Action: Prioritize growth over nitpicking. Create a space where your team can spill the tea without fear. You're going for "cool therapist," not "Spanish Inquisition."

   • Pro Tip: Use "feedforward" instead of feedback, focusing on future improvements rather than past mistakes. Let others speak first in meetings to encourage diverse perspectives.

5. Practice Mindfulness

   • Action: Identify your micromanagement triggers. Is it Dave's liberal use of Comic Sans? Sarah's unique document naming and filing system?

   • Pro Tip: Keep a "Was This Really Necessary?" journal to track instances of overcontrol. The answer is usually "no."

Keep Calm and Empower On

Remember, transforming from a rushed, efficiency-obsessed control freak to a zen master of empowerment is like learning to ride a bike. There will be wobbles and scraped knees, but soon you'll be freewheeling towards better partnerships and a saner you.

Now that I've dumped my control issues onto this blog (cheaper than therapy, right?), I'm ready to delegate and step back like my sanity depends on it – because it probably does!

So, let's raise a toast to letting go, embracing a little chaos, and trusting in the amazing capabilities of those around us. After all, if we wanted everything done our way, we'd just do it ourselves... and where's the fun in that?